Everything I Love and Hate About My Life

So I've been commenting here and there about my recent life events; I got a new job (which I absolutely love), I got my beach house (DEWEY!), and I'll be (hopefully!) relocating to Manayunk come August. Thus, I've decided to devote a post to the things that make me ridiculously happy and the few things that make me think my life should be a bad tv sitcom/reality show...

This is what Mama's actually looks like at 2am any given night in Dewey Beach. Mama Celeste has the best pizza. It is magical. A slice or two before bed in your drunken stupor makes you wake-up sans hangover. However, it does not keep you from making regrettable decisions....

Point-to-Point. A Delaware tradition. This pic is from a previous year when it wasn't hurricane conditions. Simple equation: large field + horses + rich people + classy dresswear + copious amounts of alcohol + tailgating + First Sunday in May = Drunken Waspy Mess

The Rickshaw. Greatest. Invention. Ever.

Gew. The line outside the Rusty Rudder on any given weekend in the summer.

Some douchebag taking champagne to the face Suicide Sunday at the Starboard.

Mama, of Mama Celeste. Maker of magical pizza.

Taco toss at Lighthouse....roughly 7pm any given Friday.

When I die, if I go to heaven, it will look like Dewey Beach....(Swede Street entrance)

Jefe (of Burnt Sienna). Pulls girls on stage. Creeper. Kind of hot though. Typical Delaware.

Jam Sesh at Bottle & Cork. I live next door to this madness....

Little kid bar. I got in when I was 17....so did everyone else. Home of the famous locals night...2$ you call its.

The line for Jam Session. Good to have friends who are bouncers...even better to live next door.

Why Delaware needs a sales tax. FML.

WTF? Actual Photo taken in Dewey.

Guilty Pleasures......

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

for all my professional deadbeat friends....hahaha

www.skimonline.com/skimschool/terminology.htm

Full Moon Brings Out the Crazies....

So my life has been crazier than usual for the last few weeks...not as much awesomeness or work bogging me down, as much as other random commitments and drama. More on that later. Right now sweet Bebe's version of Stella McCartney.....I waaannntttt....

I did find 2 pairs of $5.00 shoes at some random ghetto store down the street from my office. Not quite shoe porn, but definitely hot.

Hair and make-up tips please. Perfect summer look.....speaking of which, my beloved DEWEY BEACH is only 3 days away!!!!!!

Matthew Williamson for H & M. So Hot Right Now. (and affordable!!!!)

Red lips, red nails, short skirt. Sounds like the beginning of a Cake song. Inspiration for the week(end).

Looks like cut-outs are making a come back. yowza.

For whatever reason, I find this oddly sexy...like a Fiona Apple "criminal" kind of way.....

Ash is back out of hiding.......

Sunday Funday

Phenomenal weekend. I spent Saturday at my cousin's communion, which sounds lame, but it was the Italian side of my family; i.e. lots of food, awesome desserts, and alot of booze. It was also gorgeous outside. After a 4 hour long alcohol fueled party for a 6 year old, I went out in Manayunk and had one of the best Saturday nights in recent memory.

I think I checked-off all the requirements for a seriously sick evening: Day/early evening drinking outside, check; cornhole, check; 2 hour open bar, check; rolling with a posse 20 deep, check; starting and ending the party at Kildaires, check; dancing my pants off for the better part of 6 hours, check; late night beer pong, check; and being full body tackled by one of your friends....check, and hilarious.

How the hell does she do it? She is my idol.

No. Just no.

I feel bad for her, no, scratch that, I don't. No talent ass-clown. She's rich enough she can pay someone to make sure she doesn't get fat and she can hire a stylist who isn't blind and/or from the trailer park.

So, in addition to my awesome night, I found a new house and roommates. Sooo excited. I really hope for a bigger closet though....this is my shiz on a good day.


Me likey. I still want to go to a wedding so I can get in black tie attire. Maybe I'll just have to throw a dressy party for my b-day.

TGIF

Joy! The weekend is almost here. Lax practice was cancelled due to ridiculous amounts of rain this week...which completely saturated all the fields rendering them un-playable, so that means LegallyBlonde is getting saucy at 5:00pm today.....

Stick dye-ing went uber-well last weekend...now I'm a bit obsessed with tie-dye. Totes trying this.....

Read this cover to cover. Spin still rules, as does No Doubt. I cannot wait to see them June 11th! 2 days after the momentous B-day of yours truly.

Manolo for thakoon.

Holy shit. Givenchy.

That's not water, and that's all I want post-work today....

Washing my hands of both last Sunday and possibly ManCandy. To quote the Hills, "I'm done with drama." I need a new pool of men to draw from...i.e. NOT the bars in Trolley Square. I was so desperate for some new prospects I actually told the little girls I coach to get me a date(s)..."Alright girls, now, I want attractive, employed brothers/cousins/neighbors, ages 21-30. Coach needs a date! Start bringing them to watch games..." Sad, I know. We'll see what comes of this. I also picked up a possible stalker at the expo for the race I ran in last weekend. His email seemed normal enough....(???) Anyway, so I was telling old ManCandy (I'll discuss that later...) about all this, and he replied with possibly that greatest line, I dunnno...ever, last night: "Ok...hold up a second. I'm original ManCandy, I know about Spicy BBQ [current ManCandy], but really, there's the potential for more? How many flavors do you need?!" Hilarious, no?....Maybe I was wrong about him.

Either way, I'm done with Man-Baby, bi-polar drama queens that seem to frequent my stomping grounds. I thought a little older would be better....? Nope, there's a generation of man-babies. We'll see what the weekend brings....

2 weeks til I move into my summer share!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG, Summer, hurry your ass up!

I used to hate gold jewlery, now I am borderline obsessed. Anna Scheffield.

Nobody I know, but this embodies everything I hated about going to college in the South. Gross things in this picture: 1) Cowboy hat 2) Tuaca t-shirt 3) Girl with fake tan and bad high-lights 4) the american-eagle-esque leather watch. Notice, I did not list "squirting ketchup into mouth" as a gross thing.

You're welcome:

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ better that fmylife. omg I die.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU 1 billion times better than lolcatz.

Oh, and the best article on homophobic tartlet http://jezebel.com/5239807/who-needs-a-scholarship-when-you-can-get-sponsored-breasts

A little bit of this, A little bit of that....

Yesssss, I am a huge jerk. Once a week posting isn't going to cut it. My sincerest apologies. Anyway, I feel like the lapse in posts gives me ample time to troll for new fodder....

Jak and Jill's blog is one of my guilty pleasures. Shoes that make me salivate/give me goosebumps. This is the closest thing to woman-porn ever created. It has also created two amazing colloquialisms; Shoeporn & Shoegasm.

Another awesome awesome blog is Cupcakes and Cashmere. Meet Emily, once Teen Vogue intern, now writer for Domino, among other mags. She is my number one style inspiration. She mixes classic, girly, and prep styles with current trends and vintage finds so perfectly it almost hurts. I am constantly in a state of awe when reading. She's also an amazing cook and decorator. Martha, 30 years younger, hot, funny and stylish.

That outfit on the end is absolutely perfect.

If I could trade lives with any blogger, clearly, she would be my #1. I'm totes stealing this look.

My favorite hot mess. Rumored to be in discussions of a porn deal? Oh, Whorehan....

Topshop NYC shoe department..... I need a moment....uuuggghh.......

LC peacing out of Speidi's wedding. Supercute dress. I want to go to a wedding so goddamn badly! Man are weddings fun; open bar, dancing, awesome food, dress-up...if only I had more prospective bachelors in need of a go-to date. Current ManCandy is on thin ice.....

Kim, we are not idiots. Size 2? Shut the f up.

Yay! Ashley O is out of hiding! Looking fab as usual. I can't wait for some more spring-inspired looks from her!

I'm thinking a 9.5

9.5 on what you ask? Oh, just the crazy scale. I'm actually stressing about what to wear to the FOB concert tomorrow. I'm stressing over what I'm wearing to a teeny-bopper, sell-outs-r-us concert at 22 years old. Shoot me in the face. On a side note, Olivia Palermo has the most kick ass hair ever...(sigh)

Real life inspiration? I think so....Real Manhattan condescending socialite - shiny hair - dewy skin= Gossip Girl Character "Blair Waldorf"

Ok, so she's evil...but she makes evil look so damn good. Her style is amazing and she's extremely attractive to the point that I'm beginning to question my own sexual preference.

EW. The cover of cosmo?!?! Are you happy cosmopolitan? You now have my $3.95 for an awful article on boring-ass Whitney Port and her clearly air-brushed-on cleavage. What the hell did you put her in anyway? This isn't 1997. That dress is heinous. If I don't boost my sex drive and lose 5lbs in 7 days I'm writing an irate letter demanding my money back.

Why does anyone care about Hannah Montana still...much less the older audience of Glamour. You go from Michelle Obama and Jennifer Connely (i.e. people/celebrities actually worthy of an article, and/or respect) to efing Disney Princess? I wish she would just go away. P.S. Chip and Dale are missing their long lost sister.

In order to catch the eye of my odd, sexually driven boy-crush, Pete Wentz, tomorrow, I figure I'll channel Ashlee Simpson....who, the more and more I study her style, is basically the bootleg version of MK. Please note comparison below. Clearly, winner=MK.

Ashlee has nicer hair here (to me at least) but MK definitely wins again....on the shoes alone...lets be real.

Stick to your day job Ashlee (whatever the hell that may be these days)...no one puts MK in a corner (haha get it?...for all you readers with adult/good music taste, I was doing a little word play on a Fall Out Boy song title....oh, I digress)

Granted, it might be cold wherever Ashlee was when this pic was taken, and MK was likely in LA, but MK has it again. So, the game plan: dress like Ashlee Simpson (who really just dresses like MK Olsen) to win the affection of fun-sized bassist of Fall Out Boy, then, use this leverage to get backstage, and woo the band with my awesomeness/age, (since the braces-faced fans probably get old after a while,) and then have 10,000 Bronx-Mowgli-whatever the hell Pete named his first born-Babies with Wentz and live happily ever after with my terribly named children and his English bulldog Hemingway. (Sigh) I'll apply his guy-liner and dye his hair emo until the day he dies...

Fierce competition? Well, although my karaoke is a sight to be seen, I don't think I'll need to blame acid reflux for lip-synching embarrassment on national television. The jig is up Ash; there's a new blonde (er....former red-head) in town...