RIP?

Like, OMFG! All these famous people like, totally croaked!

Don't get me wrong, death is sad. But only in America do we mourn the death of celebrities more than actual tragedies, and let the death of so-called icons override actual news.

The one I am actually sad about. Ed McMahon passed away at the age of 86. He was a Marine Corps pilot in both WWII and the Korean wars, co-hosted the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for 30 years, hosted Star Search for 12 and was a Budweiser spokesmen for over two decades.

Farrah Fawcett dies at 62 from colon cancer. She was 70's icon, actress, and the face of the best selling poster in the entire world, and best known for her stint on the sitcom "Charlie's Angels". In 1978 Playboy magazine called Ms. Fawcett “the first mass visual symbol of post-neurotic fresh-air sexuality.” She herself put it more plainly: “When the show got to be No. 3, I figured it was our acting. When it got to be No. 1, I decided it could only be because none of us wears a bra.”

Infomercial star Billy Mays died Sunday, apparently after getting knocked in the head by some luggage during a bumpy landing on a US Airways Flight. He was one of the two stars of the Discovery Channel's "Pitchmen", and he made ads for OxiClean, Kaboom, and the Awesome Auger. He yelled, and he was sort of goofy and obnoxious. He was a huckster, but an unapologetic and good-humored huckster. He was pretty funny on The Tonight Show just last Wednesday night, demonstrating his total faith in the stuff he sells, along with his touchy feelings about the Shamwow. Oh Bill, you will be missed.

And then one everyone won't shut up about.....

Michael Jackson has died at the age of 50. “Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back. A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.” (People Magazine)

The "King of Pop" has been a fragile mess for years now, surrounded by rumors of a pain killer addiction for almost two decades. Apparently, the stress of his upcoming “This Is It” tour pushed the star to his breaking point. The 911 call after Jackson went into cardiac arrest has been released. The person who makes the call says Jackson was “not breathing and unconscious (and) not responding to CPR". The caller also says the doctor who lived at Jackson’s home, Dr. Conrad Murray, was the only witness. Apparently, Dr. Murray administered the fatal dose of Demerol, a synthetic narcotic similar to morphine…but had given Jacko daily injections for years. (TMZ)

Gee, I’m sure Police would love to ask the doctor about all this, but he has…well, “beat it”; the doctor is nowhere to be found … “sources say a BMW belonging to the doctor was towed from Jackson’s home last night.” It may be in the good doctor’s best interest to keep running; cops generally make a frowny face when you stab someone with a barrel full of drugs and then they die.

Seemingly every Michael Jackson story for the past five years has mentioned that he’s broke as hell, but the Wall Street Journal said today there will still be hundreds of millions to divide, even after his debt is cleared…Not so fast Joe Jackson. “A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 divides the singer’s estate among his mother, three children and one or more charities… Several people close to the late Mr. Jackson said that a lawyer for the pop singer could submit the will, believed to be his last, to Los Angeles Superior Court as soon as Thursday… Mr. Jackson’s parents said in a Monday court filing that they believed the singer had died without a valid will. Joseph Jackson isn’t believed to be included in the most recent will.” Adding, “Unwinding Mr. Jackson’s estate is likely to be a thorny challenge, given the size and complexity of both the assets and the debts involved. In all, Mr. Jackson died with around $500 million debt, but the value of his assets probably outweigh that, possibly by $200 million or more, according to people familiar with the matter.” Haha, you suck Joe. You beat the shit out of those kids and now you get nothing.

Interestingly, Star magazine reports Liza Minnelli is hinting that major revelations about Jackson will come out over the next few days. Hmmm….“All those who knew him well really know what he was like, and I’m sure that now the accolades are going and I’m sure when the autopsy comes, all hell’s going to break loose,’ Liza said cryptically. ‘So thank God we’re celebrating him now.”