OMFG I'M MEETING LAUREN CONRAD TOMORROW!!!! *(*ok, by "meet" I mean stalking at a book signing....but whatev)
I am so ridiculously excited it's not even funny. I know, this might make me the lamest person alive, and getting a ticket more or less involved giving the events planning woman at Barnes and Noble a verbal bitch slap, but I get to meet one of my absolute favorite fashion icons in the flesh!
Now, most (cough, all) of my friends have not let me off without some ridicule. I understand that I am a 24 year old who is starstruck/borderline obsessed with another 24 year old, but I stand by my love/adoration of this "reality" star. This is not the first time I've been told by my friends to "check myself". There are quite a few other recent occasions where I've had to wrestle with my dignity:
1) Going to a Fall Out Boy concert with my friend and her little sister. I was going solely to see one of my favorite bands and possibly throw an elbow or two in the pit....my friend went as a guardian/babysitter for her twelve year old sister so her parents didn't have to endure the 4 "different" pop-punk-emo bands at the show. My "check yo-self" moment was when I realized not only was I the only person over the age of 21 as I sipped my $8 luke-warm miller lite, but that a group of brace-faced teens told me I had "such a cool outfit...did you get it at Delias?" as Miley Cyrus's brother's band totally "rocked out".
2) Going to see No Doubt for the 7th time on a Thursday night. The concert was sort of close to my office and started at 7:30. I saw no good reason to go home and come back in that short amount of time and my habitually late friend was supposed to meet me for drinks at 6:30 at a nearby bar. Changing into my doc martens, fishnets, a floral skirt ala kate moss, and a wife beater topped-off with bright red lip stick in my office was one thing. The raised eyebrows from the attorneys working late was not something I had prepared my self for...nor was I ready to walk 10 city blocks dressed in that attire because said habitually-late-friend went to 5th and market instead of 15th and market. Upon meeting her at the car, she was in jeans and an AA V-neck...this was my realization that just because I dressed like Gwen Stefani for her concerts when I was sixteen, I had to understand that it wasn't quite as cute or socially acceptable for walking into my go-to yuppie happy hour spot; and the bartender/suit-clad friends starting the "slow-clap" upon my entrance.
2) Going to see No Doubt for the 7th time on a Thursday night. The concert was sort of close to my office and started at 7:30. I saw no good reason to go home and come back in that short amount of time and my habitually late friend was supposed to meet me for drinks at 6:30 at a nearby bar. Changing into my doc martens, fishnets, a floral skirt ala kate moss, and a wife beater topped-off with bright red lip stick in my office was one thing. The raised eyebrows from the attorneys working late was not something I had prepared my self for...nor was I ready to walk 10 city blocks dressed in that attire because said habitually-late-friend went to 5th and market instead of 15th and market. Upon meeting her at the car, she was in jeans and an AA V-neck...this was my realization that just because I dressed like Gwen Stefani for her concerts when I was sixteen, I had to understand that it wasn't quite as cute or socially acceptable for walking into my go-to yuppie happy hour spot; and the bartender/suit-clad friends starting the "slow-clap" upon my entrance.
3) Halloween bar crawl 2009. I was having a blast as Lara Croft, complete with double leg holsters, guns and fingerless gloves. ManCandy was a "Hipster" of www.latfh.com fame. At one of the bars there were local radio/newspaper photogs snapping some of the more original costumes and low and behold, ManCandy, the "broadstreet bear" and I were snapped in a particularly classy frame...I, mid-shot, the others complete drunkface. Two days later we are on the cover of "spark" weekly, the entertainment/scene-y Delaware magazine. My parents were so proud to see their little girl clad in a booty-short-leg-holstler ensemble one fist-pump away from a Public Intoxication.
So, leaving my beloved city limits for Barnes and Noble suburban hell, waiting in line with tweens, moms, and gay men for probably 5 hours, and in all probability enduring this in a blizzard anticipated to hit the eastern seaboard tonight, my creepy adoration of Lauren Conrad is not officially warranting a "check yo-self" quite yet. 
My issue is locating the fine like between understated admiration and stalker, and staying on the former side. Do I wear one of her Lauren Conrad Collection pieces when I meet her? I'm resolving to avoid the wide-eyed perma-grin and possibly drop a casual compliment. Last time I "met" someone famous it was kind of a disaster. I was a hostess at an uber-hot new restaurant down the beach owned by a scarier, chubbier clone of Kelly Cutrone. She informed me that an old "friend" of hers I might recognize was coming in with a large group for dinner and I need to to clear tables/re-arrange tables/ bargain with the devil/whatever to accommodate them. As I'm re-positioning chairs on the sandy "beach" dinning section (in stilettos no less), I'm cursing to myself that this "friend" had better be the fucking shit for all this effort...I wasn't getting sand caked between my toes and a sprained ankle for the fucking town mayor. Bosslady finally told me the "friend" had arrived and to "Not at like a fucking teenager" when I was seating him. (I was 18 at this time). Well, the "friend" was Dave Grohl, and needless to say I flipped out and acted like a total fucking teenager.
Taking a page from the Always Sunny In Philadelphia Chase Utley Love letter.... Dear LC:
I feel like I can call you LC because you and me are so much alike. I've always wanted to meet you, it would be great to go shopping. I know I'm not as rich and famous as you but I think you would be impressed with my fashion sense. I love your hair. You're really pretty. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all things we can talk about and more. I know you have not been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did, and I hope you write back this time and we get to be good friends. I am sure our relationship would be a real "treat".
xo,
LegallyBlonde
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dleb_SHnAOw watch this clip...about 2:00 min in...you'll understand.
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