Its Official.

Yep. ManCandy has worked his way to "boyfriend" status.

First "official" shot. Well, not really...but the first one to make it on this piece of shit blog. The "White Party" was sooo fun. I had a blast, as did everyone else. Perfect weather, open bar, cake, good music, and stellar late night festivities. Yay! LegallyBlonde is uber-smitten!

Please. I'm not one of those gross pda types. If anything, I tend to down-play. My boss made a few quips at lunch the other day...."I can't tell if you really care about this guy or not. It's like if you lost him...It would be like losing your favorite pair of shoes; sad, almost irreplaceable, but you'd go shopping and get over it." See, I told you my boss was the man...so insightful.

Another thing that bewilders is my choice in celebrity crushes. I have alluded to this before, but I seriously think the oddest men are rip-my-shirt-off hot. Mmmmm sexy little Ryan Seacrest.

Jeff Goldblum.

ManCandy doesn't know it, but Conan definitely melts my butter, and personally, I think he and Conan have quite a few similar physical characteristics.....

I know he's a fudgepacker, but yeah.....he's sexy. Anderson Cooper. Very Hot Gay Man.

Jude Law. Hot Scumbag.

Cool as shit and hot. Apparently tipped a waiter $4,000.00 recently, owns his own Island in the Caribbean, and is still super down to earth. Johnny Depp is a gift.

Fangs are Fabulous

Believe it or not, I do (at times) feel like a catty biatch/total "plastic" when I devote entire posts to celeb bashing/commentary, but the stupidity and audacity of some famous people continues to surprise/appall me.

I suppose fangs in the soul-sucking/flesh-eating sense are bad, but with the sexiness of True Blood and Twilight...Vampires are So Hot Right Now.

Ew. Miley Cyrus is teaming up with designer Max Azria to do a line for Walmart. BARF! I really really like Max Azria as a designer (BCBG)...and I know this project will be a cash cow, but please just study the subject above......

And Azria is capable of making such beautiful pieces (Resort 09 above)! I hope this pairing doesn't create too much of a disaster.....

Hey idiot, when you cheat on your hot girlfriend with some skank at a club in New York City, it might be easier to get away with if you WEREN'T EFING FAMOUS. JT was seen holding hands and kissing some mystery brunette last Monday night at Avenue lounge in Chelsea. Lezlo Whorehan, happened to be there, starving for attention as usual, and did what any decent person would do….take a picture and twitter about it. By the way, if Lindsay Lohan is questioning your moral integrity, you know you’re fucked.

Maybe the reason she narked out Justin Timberlake on Twitter had something to do with her pride being destroyed? Apparently earlier that night, she “tried to dance with Timberlake, but he shooed her away” according to reports. Hahahahahhaha.

Her birthday isn’t until Thursday, but Lindsay held a party for herself this weekend in Vegas at Wet Republic inside the MGM. Now, I’ve been to the Wet Republic and let me tell you…it might just be the classiest place in the world next to a Sisqo video shoot or Daytona Beach spring break….

I’m unsure what friends she has these days and who in their right mind would be seen associating with her if they were remotely famous so, it was a good idea to have a party at a place where there were already 2000 people. Only like three of them were there for Lindsay. She changed outfits 5 times, perhaps to give the appearance of 5 different guests. But if she wanted to reassure Hollywood that she’s still smokin hot, a pool in Vegas was a terrible idea.

Autopsy update! The Sun reports…“…the singer was a virtual skeleton — barely eating and with only pills in his stomach at the time he died. His hips, thighs and shoulders were riddled with needle wounds — believed to be the result of injections of narcotic painkillers, given three times a day for years. He’d lost virtually all his hair … was wearing a wig when he died and pathologists said little more than ‘peach fuzz’ covered his scalp. The King of Pop’s once handsome face bore a network of plastic surgery scars, while the bridge to his nose had vanished and its right side had partially collapsed.” I mean, look at the pic above....is this really all that surprising?

Kendra married Hank Baskett at the Playboy Mansion Saturday. It sure is the most beautiful shotgun I've seen in a while!

RIP?

Like, OMFG! All these famous people like, totally croaked!

Don't get me wrong, death is sad. But only in America do we mourn the death of celebrities more than actual tragedies, and let the death of so-called icons override actual news.

The one I am actually sad about. Ed McMahon passed away at the age of 86. He was a Marine Corps pilot in both WWII and the Korean wars, co-hosted the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for 30 years, hosted Star Search for 12 and was a Budweiser spokesmen for over two decades.

Farrah Fawcett dies at 62 from colon cancer. She was 70's icon, actress, and the face of the best selling poster in the entire world, and best known for her stint on the sitcom "Charlie's Angels". In 1978 Playboy magazine called Ms. Fawcett “the first mass visual symbol of post-neurotic fresh-air sexuality.” She herself put it more plainly: “When the show got to be No. 3, I figured it was our acting. When it got to be No. 1, I decided it could only be because none of us wears a bra.”

Infomercial star Billy Mays died Sunday, apparently after getting knocked in the head by some luggage during a bumpy landing on a US Airways Flight. He was one of the two stars of the Discovery Channel's "Pitchmen", and he made ads for OxiClean, Kaboom, and the Awesome Auger. He yelled, and he was sort of goofy and obnoxious. He was a huckster, but an unapologetic and good-humored huckster. He was pretty funny on The Tonight Show just last Wednesday night, demonstrating his total faith in the stuff he sells, along with his touchy feelings about the Shamwow. Oh Bill, you will be missed.

And then one everyone won't shut up about.....

Michael Jackson has died at the age of 50. “Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back. A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.” (People Magazine)

The "King of Pop" has been a fragile mess for years now, surrounded by rumors of a pain killer addiction for almost two decades. Apparently, the stress of his upcoming “This Is It” tour pushed the star to his breaking point. The 911 call after Jackson went into cardiac arrest has been released. The person who makes the call says Jackson was “not breathing and unconscious (and) not responding to CPR". The caller also says the doctor who lived at Jackson’s home, Dr. Conrad Murray, was the only witness. Apparently, Dr. Murray administered the fatal dose of Demerol, a synthetic narcotic similar to morphine…but had given Jacko daily injections for years. (TMZ)

Gee, I’m sure Police would love to ask the doctor about all this, but he has…well, “beat it”; the doctor is nowhere to be found … “sources say a BMW belonging to the doctor was towed from Jackson’s home last night.” It may be in the good doctor’s best interest to keep running; cops generally make a frowny face when you stab someone with a barrel full of drugs and then they die.

Seemingly every Michael Jackson story for the past five years has mentioned that he’s broke as hell, but the Wall Street Journal said today there will still be hundreds of millions to divide, even after his debt is cleared…Not so fast Joe Jackson. “A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 divides the singer’s estate among his mother, three children and one or more charities… Several people close to the late Mr. Jackson said that a lawyer for the pop singer could submit the will, believed to be his last, to Los Angeles Superior Court as soon as Thursday… Mr. Jackson’s parents said in a Monday court filing that they believed the singer had died without a valid will. Joseph Jackson isn’t believed to be included in the most recent will.” Adding, “Unwinding Mr. Jackson’s estate is likely to be a thorny challenge, given the size and complexity of both the assets and the debts involved. In all, Mr. Jackson died with around $500 million debt, but the value of his assets probably outweigh that, possibly by $200 million or more, according to people familiar with the matter.” Haha, you suck Joe. You beat the shit out of those kids and now you get nothing.

Interestingly, Star magazine reports Liza Minnelli is hinting that major revelations about Jackson will come out over the next few days. Hmmm….“All those who knew him well really know what he was like, and I’m sure that now the accolades are going and I’m sure when the autopsy comes, all hell’s going to break loose,’ Liza said cryptically. ‘So thank God we’re celebrating him now.”